Am dating loser
You don’t see the person as a whole…you see the perfect wedding night/pure marriage you’ll never be able to have if you stay with them. How they treat you, who they are, and how much you enjoy them should be hugely important factors. Some of those other qualities can be even more rare than virginity. But given that the rest of the world is full of one night stands, casual sex, and “hook up culture”, maybe the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend has only had sex with one other person in the context of a long term relationship (or whatever) isn’t so bad.. Appreciate that in the grand scheme of things, your girlfriend/boyfriend may be much closer to your sincere, genuine idea of sexuality than he/she is to those “other” people’s warped and soulless view of sex.Maybe they had sex before with one person but only a couple of times.
Or, on the other hand, you may see that this relationship going to last (in all likelihood), in which case it becomes important for you to work through your concerns with your partner.Sometimes the more you want a person, the more their sexual past bothers you.As the one who’s waiting for sex (doing the noble thing), the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend has had sex before with one or more people may start to really piss you off.Sometimes given a twist with the character who seems to have it all made and be on the fast track academically becoming the loser. See also Fallen Princess, Humiliation Conga, Jaded Washout, Odd Friendship, and Retirony. (This is an Inverted Trope, Not a Subversion.) If taken to extremes, the writer may be working out issues or giving a Take That! I’m sorry for being so snippy.” Approach the discussion as if this was completely your problem, not theirs…. And now you’ve got only a faceless sea of everyone else to potentially date.
It’s something that you’re dealing with that is really no fault of their own. Afterall, they were probably expecting to have this conversation with you at some point. It’s like a million, torturous images keep flashing through your head, and your own imagination keeps inventing all new horrors for you. Now, compared to the sexual history of , maybe theirs wasn’t so bad at all. Next to them being gone from your life entirely, this stuff about their past isn’t really a big deal. Note that this point will become instantly and painfully clear when/if you actually do break up.
Mike is web software developer by day, and is in school to become a psychologist.
In his free time Mike enjoys running, biking, and movies.
Ultimately, you may be happiest with somebody who has a sexual history that is at least on the conservative side. There is such a thing as other factors out-weighing the sexual history factor (like the fact that they’re crazy about you and complete you in every other way…that does happen).
You can throw everything else on this list away if you don’t marry the person. The sole purpose of pre-marriage relationships are personal growth and companionship. Don’t blow what may end up just being some good fun by trying to take it too seriously too fast.
Secretly, your anger won’t be satisfied until you’ve brought them around to your way of thinking and shamed them for the times they stepped away from it. In fact, they their past, or your plan will work and they will feel really horrible about it. If they start defending their past, it’s going to push the two of you farther apart.